i think ur the hot friend

crockercorp:

does anyone else have this other self they’ve created in their mind that is not really exactly you irl but is more like what you want to be and has a life that continues in your head with like weird continuing daydreams but they’re not perfect or anything and wow i forget where i was going with this

(Source: chorui, via dildo-patrol)

thepinkqueen:

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!! NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE… Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911. Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life! Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/

kyleehenke:

Oh my god my mom brought me an iced coffee when she picked me up from strength training and i was drinking it really fast cause i was so hot and sweaty but then we hit a bump in the road and it spilled aLL DOWN MY CLEAVAGE BUT IT FELT INCREDIBLE SO I MADE THIS LOUD SEXUAL MOAN AND MY MOM ALMOST CRASHED

(via tumblecakes)

teenytigress:

DUCK UPDATE: IT HAS IMPRINTED AND THINKS THIS BOY IS IT’S MOMMY. OMG

ddowney:

marble sculptures are one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen i mean

that’s stone and someone made it look transparent

do you see that fabric?

do you see that fluffy pillow?

do you see that anatomy and those humans muscles?

no you do not because that’s all fucking marble

(via accidental-superwholock)

theme by -shrooms